My friend Brenda

In the 80’s I was a producer/director at the local PBS affiliate here in Syracuse. It was a great time to be in public broadcasting because the wide diversity in programming we enjoy today had not yet taken hold so we at WCNY were able to do a lot of different kinds of productions: drama, music, documentary, sports and on and on. From a professional standpoint, it was a blast. From a personal standpoint it was equally as much fun. There were many young and single people working at WCNY then and we all got along pretty well. On Wednesday, after Barack Obama was elected as our president, I was thinking of one of those people, one of my best friends, Brenda.

When I got married in 1990, Brenda was one of my “groomsmen.” There she stood along side my brother and my two brothers-in-law. She loved being the only female and I loved having her there. Brenda lives and works in Florida now and has been there for 15 years or so. Shortly after I got married her husband got a job offer down there they couldn’t refuse. So off they went, Brenda, her husband Jeff and their daughter Jordan.

Let me tell you a little about Brenda. She comes from a good, close and loud family. Her father owned a bar in Rome, NY and they worked hard. Brenda never assumed that anything would be handed to her and she had high expectations for herself and her friends. Since moving down to Florida, she got her PhD and is a member of her local school board. Her husband Jeff is a respected psychologist and a few years ago they adopted another daughter, Paige.

Shortly after she moved to Florida I was on the phone with her and she said something to me I will never forget. She was talking about how different things were down there racially as compared to the north. She said that for the first time in her life she heard the “N” word. Brenda is African-American. In that same conversation she told me that while she was checking out at the grocery store, the clerk, whom she had never seen before, said, “Oh, you’re the lady married to the white guy.” I don’t remember if Brenda had a response to her or not but she was a little creeped out that someone who didn’t know her, knew that she was married to Jeff, a white guy.

I have a feeling I know how Brenda felt when Barack Obama was elected but then again, maybe not. No clerk at Wegman’s knows whom I am married to. I’ve never been subject to racial slurs. To my knowledge, no one has judged me based on how I look. But when Obama was declared the winner I’ll bet Brenda shouted screams of joy to her husband and then spoke with daughter Jordan who is in college at Harvard right now. I’ll bet she praised God too being the good catholic that she is.

And then I’ll bet she got up the next morning and got ready for work but knowing that somehow, that day would be different.

http://www.polk-fl.net/districtinfo/boardmembers/district4.htm